|Introducing the ever-present Boxelder Bug|
If Boxelder bugs are driving you crazy, you're not alone.
It wasn't long before the promised solution arrived. With much anticipation our friend opened the message. The sage advice was delivered succinctly. Only seven words were required. The solution?
"Suck them up with a vacuum cleaner."
"Gee, why didn't I think of that?" He may have meant, "Why didn't I think of the $5 scam."
Of course those hearing the story had a good laugh. Lighthearted gibes followed for a couple days until all of a sudden, the "$5 vacuum cleaner solution" didn't look so silly anymore. What changed?
Analytical observations made in the Community Hall supported the contention that - vacuum cleaners not only consume current elder bug populations, vacuums conspicuously displayed in a room will also keep elder bugs at bay! They disappear!
The evidence: Gathering for a meeting in the Community Hall one evening, early arrivals discovered a brand new vacuum cleaner sitting on the floor. Everyone knew the Stehekin Heritage Community Hall cleanup was scheduled in three days. Maybe someone brought the vacuum early for the upcoming cleanup.
"I bought it to get rid of the Boxelders in this place. They've been terrible!"
He went on to tell how the invasion of Elderbugs impacted church services "They covered the walls and windows!"
Church services hadn't been the only gatherings impacted by Boxelder participation. A couple weeks earlier the National Park Service conducted a meeting in the Community Hall to discuss the Draft Grizzly Bear Environmental Impact Statement (DEIS). It seems Boxelders wanted to attend the meeting as well. While we're not sure of the Elderbugs position concerning grizzlies, it was obvious Boxelders influenced the NPS presenter. Standing in front of the audience he would suddenly throw his hands into the air and erratically tousle his hair or brush his shoulders to rid himself of Elderbugs that seemed especially attracted to him. Elderbugs seemed to enjoy parachuting from the ceiling to assail the presenter. Either that or there was only so long they could attach themselves to the ceiling as the presenter spoke. When they could cling no longer, they fell upon the unfortunate gentleman like an intermittent rain. The audience thought the animated antics of the presenter especially entertaining.
No doubt about it, evidence existed attesting to the fact that Boxelders had infested the Community Hall! As it turned out, evidence also existed supporting the hypothesis that, "The very presence of a vacuum in a room discourages Elderbugs from even entering the room."
Elderbugs may be smarter than given credit.
There's no doubt about it, the $5 spent to receive the ultimate Elderbug eradicator solution was money well spent.
Just had an idea, if you want to rid yourselves of mosquitos plaguing you during the summer months, visit Mosquitoeradicator.com and for $5 I'll send you the solution. Leaving now to register Mosquitoeradicator.com.